How I Allowed Myself to Be in the Spotlight
I didn’t want to be in the spotlight. Ever.
The idea of seeing my name in a newspaper made me cringe. The idea of seeing myself on television or in radio made me want to curl into a fetal position and suck my thumb.
I’m Lara Helmling, author, unconventional literary agent, publisher, and author coach. Basically, if it has to do with books, I’m there.Â
This fear of the spotlight…it wasn’t a mild thing. I avoided the spotlight like the plague. I was one of those people who ducked anytime the attention seemed to move toward me. To this day, I divert conversation away from myself because attention makes me uncomfortable.
I went so far as to push away people who wanted to put me in the spotlight. I didn’t let anyone admire me. If they did, I sabotaged things to make sure they stopped.
I protected my anonymity, my life in the shadows, like my survival depended on it. I think I believed that it did, honestly (that is a story for another day).
In the meantime, I thought it was ‘good enough’ to just write privately, stuff no one would ever see. And I wrote for others…making them shine by writing awesome stuff for them. I put them in the spotlight while avoiding it for myself.
Yet deep down I always knew I belonged in the light. I felt restless, incomplete, sometimes even despondent. Something was missing, I was shortchanging myself, big time, and I knew it.
I Needed to Come Into the Light…
…to allow myself to be liked, loved, and elevated the way I elevate others all the time… but I was afraid. Afraid of change…afraid people would actually like me…afraid they would like me only to find out later that I’m just an ordinary, flawed person living precariously close to the edge of the abyss every day.
How did I make the shift?
So how did I stop procrastinating and make the shift towards allowing myself to be in the spotlight? Honestly, I never gave up on myself. I kept pushing the boundaries of my comfort zone…I pushed myself into the light like an older sister pushes her little sister into the pool when she takes too long at the edge. And I mentally hugged myself and told myself that it would be okay whenever I failed a new test and shrunk back into my old ways.
I also – and this is the biggest thing – continued to do new things in new ways. I was a butterfly learning to fly, fluttering my wings for the first time…and those first attempts at flight weren’t pretty, but they were a start. When a new opportunity to shine presented myself, I went for it.
In short, I never gave up. Now, when I wake up, I feel the light of the spotlight on my skin. I accept the compliments, the eager questions from authors, and the opportunities that come my way.
Never give up
What about you?Â
Are you pushing your comfort zones every day so that you can soar higher, longer, farther?
You can do it. You really can. And there are three simple things you can do to get there…
1. Accept opportunities that come your way. Whatever they look like, whatever they are, if your heart leaps when you hear about them that is life calling you into a higher version of yourself. Go for it! Do the thing…whatever it is.
2. Let go of your expectations of what your growth is supposed to be like. Look, I’m not going to lie, it isn’t always going to be pretty. Growth seems ugly sometimes (just ask a newborn kangaroo). At its core, though, it’s always beautiful…no matter how far from our expectations it seems to be.
3. Get some support while you challenge your comfort zones. It’s important to have someone walking alongside you, encouraging you that you can do it. Find that person for yourself…and be that person for someone else!
I don’t know what your path to the spotlight is going to look like…
I can tell you one thing…you’ll get there if you do the above three things over and over and over…because one day, you’re going to wake up and feel the warmth of the light on your skin…and you’re going to realize that you have arrived.
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