The Agony of Self-Promotion…and Why You Have to Get Over It
Today I’m going to tell you a story…
A story of an author who couldn’t bring herself to promote her book…
She felt like she was bragging…
She didn’t believe she was good enough…
Yet she admired those who did promote their books, shamelessly, often, and everywhere…
This might be your story…
If it is your story, this may be the most important post you’ve ever read…
It might be the key to your success as an author.
It might help you change people’s lives for the better.
Carrie’s Story
Let’s call our author Carrie.
Carrie is an author, and today she’s sitting at a table, surrounded by copies of her book.
She’s in a huge gymnasium full of other tables and other authors and other books. It’s a book fair that she signed up for three months ago. She’s been simultaneously looking forward to it and dreading it ever since she signed up.
She sits quietly, hoping a reader will come to talk with her.
When someone does, she tries to talk about her book…but somewhere deep inside she feels like what she’s doing is wrong.
She sells a few books at the book fair that day. She packs up her books, feeling like a failure, and makes the long trek home.
What’s wrong with me? she thinks. Maybe my book isn’t any good. Maybe I’m just fooling myself.
While she’s on the topic of how much of a failure she is, Carrie berates herself for not using social media more. She hardly ever goes on social media to promote her book. She’ll post a few pictures here and there, inviting people to these fairs and so forth, but that’s it.
She hates going on social media.
“What if your book is destined to change the world, even for one person? And what if that one person never hears about your book, because you didn’t want to brag?”
Lara Helmling
What’s Wrong with Carrie?
Does Carrie sound familiar?
Is there something wrong with Carrie, like she thinks? Is she a horrible failure? Is her book no-good?
Spoiler Alert: There is nothing wrong with Carrie.
Carrie is just acting on her training.
She’s responding to the training she received as a child.
Like the rest of us, she was told to sit still and be quiet.
She was told to listen and not talk.
Sound familiar?
What does that do to a child’s psyche and sense of moral rightness to tell them that they can’t talk?
We always hear about the kids who talk too much. They always got in trouble in school.
Some of them have grown up to embarrass themselves in the business meetings.
They make fools of themselves at the Christmas party by talking too much and bragging about everything.
Others of the Chatty Cathys and Wiggle Wills learned to ’settle down’ and be ‘good girls’ and ‘good boys.’
WE ALL HAVE A LITTLE BIT OF CARRIE IN US…
If so, you probably grew up and ’settled down.’
Now we’re grown, sure, but many of us we’ve internalized this idea that to talk about ourselves and our accomplishments is somehow ‘bad.’
Common wisdom chastises us for talking and tells us that we have “two ears and one mouth for a reason.”
It’s true that listening is important. It’s a skill many seem to lack.
But…
I think that many of us grow up thinking that it’s somehow ‘bad’ to talk and that we should ‘always’ listen.
Particularly when it comes to talking about ourselves or something we’ve done.
“Don’t brag.” We can still hear our parents’ voices in our heads.
And we all translated that to mean that any time – any time at all – that we talked about ourselves or something we’ve done, it was bragging.
STOP IT
So here’s the thing I’m going to tell you today.
Get over it.
Just stop.
It’s good to talk about yourself and your accomplishments…your skills and talents…as long as you don’t get obnoxious about it.
Seriously. This is really important.
It isn’t bragging to talk about your book to others, to tell them how great it is and what a wonderful impact it has on readers.
Maybe that’s hard to accept without that icky feeling rising up inside you.
If that happens, if you can’t accept that it isn’t bragging to talk about your book, then okay fine…you need to start bragging.
It’s time to start talking.
It’s time to start bragging.
You don’t have to “brag” about yourself.
You need to “brag” about your book.
Why?
IF YOU DON’T START TALKING, BAD THINGS WILL HAPPEN
Your book could help someone solve a problem they’ve had for a long time. Think of the relief you’re bringing them.
Your book could help a reluctant reader learn to love to read. Think of the changes that will bring to that young child.
Your book could teach someone the importance of forgiveness or love.
Your book could change the entire trajectory of someone’s life.
Now let’s reverse it.
What if you don’t ever brag about your book?
That someone who needs a solution to their problem will never hear about your book.
That reluctant reader will never find your book, the one book that she’ll love forever.
That someone who needs to learn about forgiveness will either never learn it or they’ll have to find another way to learn it. Because they’ll never know about your book.
You Owe Your Readers…So Start Bragging
You have a responsibility to brag about your book.
Really, it doesn’t matter how you ‘feel’ or ’think’ about the whole self-promotion thing.
If it makes you feel uneasy or even ‘bad’ for talking about your book…
Get over it.
You OWE it to your readers to talk about your book…to talk about how great it is…and to make sure that as many readers as possible get to hear about it.
You know, readers don’t realize they’ll love your book right away. It may take them hearing about your book 10 times, maybe even 30 times, before they start to pay attention and get your book.
If You Can’t Do It For You…Do It For Your Readers
It’s your job – your responsibility – to make sure they hear about it 10-30 times so that when the time is right, they make that magical decision to buy your book…
And that’s the moment that their lives change forever.
Now get out there and promote yourself, promote your book…
And remember why you’re doing it…
You’re not doing it for you…
You’re doing it for your readers.
Resources
If you missed any of The Bestselling Author’s previous blogs, below are a few for you to choose from. All writers can benefit from the information found in these blogs.
How I Allowed Myself to Be in the Spotlight
I didn't want to be in the spotlight. Ever.The idea of seeing my name in a newspaper made me cringe. The idea of seeing myself on television or in radio made me want to curl into a fetal position and suck my thumb. I'm Lara Helmling, author, unconventional literary...
How I Spent $37,000 Learning Marketing And How You Can Avoid All That
When I first started out learning how to market books I was confused, overwhelmed, and I had no direction of which way I should go. I was shocked when I calculated that I spent $37,000 to learn how to market books. I knew that I wanted to inspire others to reach their...
Focusing On One Focal Point At a Time: Marketing Made Simple
Stop Overloading Yourself Many of us have started working on one thing, to stop in the middle, and instantly start working on something else. Just imagine this scenario... You sit down to create a plan for your marketing campaign. After writing three sentences, you...
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